sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
