yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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