...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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