what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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