She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
