you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
