i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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