Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
