I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize