Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
