is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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