We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
