Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
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Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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