went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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