The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
