she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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