Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
