so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
