I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
