I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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