i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
