Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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