Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
