i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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