The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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