wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
