i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
