I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
