this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
