i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
