We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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