Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
