well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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