she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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