they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
