So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
