Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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