weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
