Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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