Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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