I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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