Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
