We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize