It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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