I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
