Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
