I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
