just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
there is glitter all over my balls
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
