My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
