I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize