I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
