yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
