Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.