and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's the barista slut.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize