i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.