Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.