I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn