He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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