I seem to have left my pride at pride
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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