I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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