The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize