i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
