So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
did i walk over a car last night?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
