AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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