Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
