I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
