where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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