return my video game
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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